What’s on my mind…. I really want to write how I feel on my blog and not what I think people want to read and since I feel like people are going to read if they want and scroll past if they want I’ve decided I cannot please anyone but myself.
Having a discussion with a woman I admire for her ability to leave her job and start a business with her husband, we were discussing my blog and what people want to read. She went in on truth, that people want gossip and drama and such. My stomach started to turn as I thought about what I needed to do and how much I dreaded doing it and then I said. That’s not my thing, I can’t give ya’ll gossip and drama every blog not even most of the blogs that ish plain tires me.
I really just want a plus size platform. I want to bond, supply jewels of creativity and knowledge and create with like-minded women. I’ve decided to give my blog my raw thoughts. My only concern is am I proud of it. Read, Scroll Whatev’s….. or comment and let’s get it.
PS Ki xoxo
With the recent story concerning DeSean Jackson I felt compelled to comment on it. I didn’t feel this way because it’s a great story or because I’m a fan of DeSean or football for that matter, I’m neither. However I am a woman with a past (who isn’t). I want to tell what it is I see…. a talented young man (from what I hear) who is affiliated with a few men who are affiliated with a gang. It sounds like six degrees of separation to me. I would love for anyone who is not “affiliated” with some who is “affiliated” with some one who has done something unethical or even committed a crime to please stand up……. I’m still waiting.
In my past I have not only had my run ins but I also had plenty of friends who had and are still having run ins with the law. Most people did not come home from the hospital with a outline of what their lives would be. Had I known I wanted to be a writer would I have made different choices… maybe. However I feel that it was my life, connections, affiliations and friendships that helped mold me into the person I am. Just because I am in a profession and no longer concerned with the life I previously lived does not mean I don’t love and appreciate the people who I knew along the way.
Do I think Mr. Jackson should use his time more wisely? Yes Indeed. I also believe that consideration should be given to us folks who come from what we know as normal and others feel is the “hard” life. Some counseling, maybe a mentor, however he can’t help who he grew up with and loyalty (to a point) should be given to those who helped ,mold him into what I hear is a talented football player.
Let him play, work on everything else silently. The same consideration that is given to the talented onscreen drug addicts should be given to our young men who by the grace of god and the “hard” life were able to make it out. #teamdeseanjackson
I have to say in recent years this is a term that has died down a bit. When I was in my twenties “ride or die” was a way of life that many chose to be a part of. There were songs, books and movies about loyalty and how far woman would go for their men. We called it “ride or die”, the older folks called it “stand by your man”. I wonder if back then stand by your man included supporting him in his illegal activities. When I say illegal activities most minds immediately go to drug activity, murdering and the like of the streets, “thug mentality”. That’s atypical.
My questioning is going beyond that. Having a partner/spouse that is part of a corporation, organization or company and they confide in you that they are doing unethical or even illegal things to move to the top and to go a step further they involve you in this debauchery.
I was watching on of my new favorite shows recently “House of Cards” and in it the wife and husband team have a plan. So far ( I’m catching up) the show hasn’t shown when and where they made this plan but you can assume that the goal is Presidency. Working together as a team (him being the leader) they do whatever it takes to reach the goal. They are a team in the truest sense of the word, I mean they know of each other’s extramarital affairs and are okay with it as long as it enables them to reach “The goal”. While this makes for great entertainment, it leaves me wondering. How many of us, men and women go above and beyond break laws, push our morals and beliefs to the wayside for our mates.
Is it acceptable to support your mate when you know the things they are doing are unethical or illegal to help them succeed.
The other day I created this blog site and I was really excited. One because I had been trying to get one up and running without it being a complete mess since I was doing it myself. Funds do not allow me to outsource anything I’m doing at this time but god is good this is temporary. I was almost done and thought okay who can I call or ask to come over and look over my preview, you know to check context , pics, format etc….
I came up with nothing….please don’t get me wrong I have some very close friends. At least I consider them close, as close as we can be. Most of my friends are married with families and loads of responsibilities. It left me thinking are my local friends supportive? I’ve done several fashion shows, hosted several events, blog etc. and I can not name one of my local friends who I consider very close that have supported me.
Then I had to look at myself as the problem and look at myself as the solution. Yes I am ALWAYS doing something but who wants to be friends with someone who has so much potential and doesn’t use it? Am I supportive of them, I’m assuming so but you know what they say about assumptions. I attend parties for them some adult ,some children’s parties , I check in with them every time they are on my mind and I am the best listener.I may not always have a reply but I do listen. I treat their children as if they are mine. Financially they don’t need help and I couldn’t help in that area anyways. Ya’ll think I’m kidding check my website….free.
This left me with an ultimatum, do I completely cut my “friends” off… or do I have a chat with these women who I think besides the aforementioned I am lucky to have in my circle.
Let me end this by saying I am aware and okay with the fact that I am scattered, emotionally unavailable at times and often moody.I am also loving, I have a huge heart and I’m very considerate of others and their circumstances. That’s another reason I really appreciate my friends because I know I’m pretty much to deal with and they know it also but they accept me and my crazy and they aren’t perfect either but I think they are damn near close.