(BIRDS) OF A FEATHER

With the recent story concerning DeSean Jackson I felt compelled to comment on it. I didn’t feel this way because it’s a great story or because I’m a fan of DeSean or football for that matter, I’m neither. However I am a woman with a past (who isn’t). I want to tell what it is I see…. a talented young man (from what I hear) who is affiliated with a few men who are affiliated with a gang. It sounds like six degrees of separation to me. I would love for anyone who is not “affiliated” with some who is “affiliated” with some one who has done something unethical or even committed a crime to please stand up……. I’m still waiting.

In my past I have not only had my run ins but I also had plenty of friends who had and are still having run ins with the law. Most people did not come home from the hospital with a outline of what their lives would be. Had I known I wanted to be a writer would I have made different choices… maybe. However I feel that it was my life, connections, affiliations and friendships that helped mold me into the person I am. Just because I am in a profession and no longer concerned with the life I previously lived does not mean I don’t love and appreciate the people who I knew along the way.

Do I think Mr. Jackson should use his time more wisely? Yes Indeed. I also believe that consideration should be given to us folks who come from what we know as normal and others feel is the “hard” life. Some counseling, maybe a mentor, however he can’t help who he grew up with and loyalty (to a point) should be given to those who helped ,mold him into what I hear is a talented football player. 

Let him play, work on everything else silently. The same consideration that is given to the talented onscreen drug addicts should be given to our young men who by the grace of god and the “hard” life were able to make it out. #teamdeseanjackson

“Ride or Die”?

I have to say in recent years this is a term that has died down a bit. When I was in my twenties “ride or die” was a way of life that many chose to be a part of. There were songs, books and movies about loyalty and how far woman would go for their men. We called it “ride or die”, the older folks called it “stand by your man”. I wonder if back then stand by your man included supporting him in his illegal activities. When I say illegal activities most minds immediately go to drug activity, murdering and the like of the streets, “thug mentality”. That’s atypical.

 

My questioning is going beyond that. Having a partner/spouse that is part of a corporation, organization or company and they confide in you that they are doing unethical or even illegal things to move to the top and to go a step further they involve you in this debauchery.

 

I was watching on of my new favorite shows recently “House of Cards” and in it the wife and husband team have a plan. So far ( I’m catching up) the show hasn’t shown when and where they made this plan but you can assume that the goal is Presidency. Working together as a team (him being the leader) they do whatever it takes to reach the goal. They are a team in the truest sense of the word, I mean they know of each other’s extramarital affairs and are okay with it as long as it enables them to reach “The goal”. While this makes for great entertainment, it leaves me wondering. How many of us, men and women go above and beyond break laws, push our morals and beliefs to the wayside for our mates.

 

Is it acceptable to support your mate when you know the things they are doing are unethical or illegal to help them succeed.

Unconditional Self~Love

Unconditional Self~Love

Love is a word that is used so often. It seems to roll off our tongues as if we are saying hello, or good morning. I was watching a commercial where a lady brings the men at her workplace something for breakfast and the one man said “I love you” not until the other men looked at him sideways did he even realize he said it. The commercial was so funny to me because I have been guilty of doing this. I can be on the phone with someone and have had a awesome conversation, they may have given me some advice or confirmation and I’m so elated before I know it we are hanging up and I say “love you”.

Not until I was having a day where I was beating myself up for yet another bad decision I had made, did I realize that I can love other’s unconditionally but I never give myself the same treatment. I have talked friends and family through bad decisions and bad days and I know the things I am telling them are not only to make them feel better but they are the truth. We all make mistakes and everyday is a fresh start that our creator is allowing us to do it better.

I believe that the people who are meant for the greatest go through the hardest. This is our creators way of making us come closer to him. I mean we already know that we are strong, smart, creative…whatever our gift is, I feel we can become a bit cocky or feel we can do it on our own. Then it happens we make yet another mistake or a bad decision and we beat ourselves up way more then the outside world does….if we think so much of ourselves why can’t we afford ourselves an occasional screw up?

Why can’t we give ourselves the same unconditional love we show to others?

K&K Vogue

K&K Vogue

Soooo… it has finally happen. April’s issue of Vogue will be graced by today’s “it” couple. After his remarks where he compared his fiance to our FLOTUS Kanye does it again. I must say that whatever the man wants he seems to get. The midas touch much Ye…

Being a fan of Vogue and it’s editor in chief Ms. Anna Wintour I would love to know what was going through her mind as this issue went to press. If the movie “The Devil Wears Prada” was in fact based off of the life of Ms. Wintour I want to picture her with the pursed lips as her team presented the idea to her.

In the past I have been one of the many who asked what exactly is was that Kim. K does. What has made her famous (besides her sex tape) since then I have become a fan and I also have a certain respect for the woman. Not only did she take a position as a stylist and turn it into a full on multi-million dollar brand. She brought some friends and family along and did it with grace all while being called everything but a child of god. Kudos to you Kim, enjoy the spotlight doll. You deserve it and can you please tell your fiance he needs to bottle whatever mojo it is that he has because I would sell a kidney for that type of juice.

xoxo Ki

“This is a mans world”

 

 

In 1966 this saying may have meant something but the tables have turned and women are running households’, business’s and building families together with only a withdrawal from the “bank” or the help of a male friend. This is definitely “A woman’s world”. Next in line will be President Hilary Clinton and Olivia Pope has made the President her “jump off”.

The thing however that has not changed is the rate at which men are stepping out on their wives and significant other’s. Open marriages are becoming the norm there has been talk about Will Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett, Rapper T.I. and his wife “Tiny” and a host of others participating.

The era of the insecure man is at an all-time high and we wonder why. Men need more and more woman to compensate for their insecurities because at the end of the day, they feel they are obsolete. They can easily be replaced by another man, woman and the new man “man’s best friend”. Yes women are replacing the love of a man for the unconditional love of a dog.  

No, I don’t think the rise of women can be used as an excuse; men have and will continue to do as they please when it comes to infidelity. However I do believe there is a large population of single woman and married woman who aren’t getting enough attention from their men, so they overcompensated their love with their own sons and somewhere along the lines they created these “monsters” that believe they are worthy of all the praise and glory that their mothers gave them. Now we are stuck with “mama’s boys”. Men who believe they are gracing you with their presence. When in actuality they feel inferior to today’s woman so they need a pack of other woman to make them feel like the big man.

What do we do? Do we continue the cycle and overly praise and compliment everything they do and pray that it’s enough to keep them faithful? Or do we pull up our Vicky’s Secret’s and LaPerla’s and demand better? Is it possible or are we stuck? 

Are your girlfriends supportive? Are you?

The other day I created this blog site and I was really excited. One because I had been trying to get one up and running without it being a complete mess since I was doing it myself. Funds do not allow me to outsource anything I’m doing at this time but god is good this is temporary. I was almost done and thought okay who can I call or ask to come over and look over my preview, you know to check context , pics, format etc…. 

I came up with nothing….please don’t get me wrong I have some very close friends. At least I consider them close, as close as we can be. Most of my friends are married with families and loads of responsibilities. It left me thinking are my local friends supportive? I’ve done several fashion shows, hosted several events, blog etc. and I can not name one of my local friends who I consider very close that have supported me.

Then I had to look at myself as the problem and look at myself as the solution. Yes I am ALWAYS doing something but who wants to be friends with someone who has so much potential and doesn’t use it? Am I supportive of them, I’m assuming so but you know what they say about assumptions. I attend parties for them some adult ,some children’s parties , I check in with them every time they are on my mind and I am the best listener.I may not always have a reply but I do listen.  I treat their children as if they are mine. Financially they don’t need help and I couldn’t help in that area anyways. Ya’ll think I’m kidding check my website….free. 

This left me with an ultimatum, do I completely cut my “friends” off… or do I have a chat with these women who I think besides the aforementioned I am lucky to have in my circle. 

Let me end this by saying  I am aware and okay with the fact that I am  scattered, emotionally unavailable at times and often moody.I am also loving, I have a huge heart and I’m very considerate of others and their circumstances. That’s another reason I really appreciate my friends because I know I’m pretty much to deal with and they know it also but they accept me and my crazy and they aren’t perfect either but I think they are damn near close.